Stephen Colbert is a Hack

Am I seriously the only one who is sick of Stephen Colbert?

This guy comes on the air every week and claims to be a conveyer of all things truthful. Not only did he rip off my show’s format (or so I’m told; I only watch The Factor) and try to be me, but he failed miserably. Colbert and his floppy right ear could never do my show as well as I do it.

He pretends to be a conservative. He most certainly is not.

This morning when I arrived to my FNC Factor office, one of my most trusted aids handed me a manila envelope. She told me that it had been anonymously delivered by a messenger service the other day but had been delayed in getting to me (because things that arrive anonymously have to be sent off to get scanned for security purposes).

When I ripped the sucker open I found photocopies of financial records for a now defunct student group at Northwestern University that in the 1970s and 1980s openly sympathized with communists. I was not surprised when Colbert’s name appeared listed on the financial disclosure records for the years 1985, 1986, and 1987. This proved, definitively, that Colbert is a communist sympathizer and not a purveyor of the truth.

He says he is my friend. For the record, he’s not. Colbert is a liar, manipulator, and a disgrace to the broadcasting industry. Colbert, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, you dirty communist-lover!

-F.B. O'Reilly

Moving On

Well friends, the time has come for me to move on. I have spent a long time supervising the construction and development of my “Official” web site. Unfortunately, my No Spin Zone on the internet has been infiltrated by liberal operatives.

First, the demons of cyberspace relentlessly slandered my friend Ann Coulter on the internet. Once they had tarnished her armor, they conspired to dismantle Ronald Reagan’s record of accomplishment on Wikipedia. Now they have brought the fight to my doorstep by bombarding my website with vile postings containing horrifying liberal propaganda.

I, like my fictional colleague Jason Bourne, will not let them win without a fight.

In response to the liberal assault on my temple of posterity on the internet, I have decided to publish this blog so that my real supporters can once again find the truth on the internet.

Welcome to my personal NSZ.

-F.B O'Reilly