Stephen Colbert is a Hack

Am I seriously the only one who is sick of Stephen Colbert?

This guy comes on the air every week and claims to be a conveyer of all things truthful. Not only did he rip off my show’s format (or so I’m told; I only watch The Factor) and try to be me, but he failed miserably. Colbert and his floppy right ear could never do my show as well as I do it.

He pretends to be a conservative. He most certainly is not.

This morning when I arrived to my FNC Factor office, one of my most trusted aids handed me a manila envelope. She told me that it had been anonymously delivered by a messenger service the other day but had been delayed in getting to me (because things that arrive anonymously have to be sent off to get scanned for security purposes).

When I ripped the sucker open I found photocopies of financial records for a now defunct student group at Northwestern University that in the 1970s and 1980s openly sympathized with communists. I was not surprised when Colbert’s name appeared listed on the financial disclosure records for the years 1985, 1986, and 1987. This proved, definitively, that Colbert is a communist sympathizer and not a purveyor of the truth.

He says he is my friend. For the record, he’s not. Colbert is a liar, manipulator, and a disgrace to the broadcasting industry. Colbert, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, you dirty communist-lover!

-F.B. O'Reilly